So There, I Said It

I grew up in California and I remember running a little. It was something I did on the last day of school for field day in elementary school or once per year for The Presidential Physical Fitness Test (I got it, in case you were wondering). In Junior High it was a forced mile or two around the track. I remember running as something that sucked beyond suck. My lungs burned, my face got all fiery red (what girl likes that look?) and I felt a little puke-a-licious. As an adult, I ran in the military. I was a decent runner and I liked the part of doing something well, while still hating the burning of the lungs, the turning red and the wanting to barf my guts out part.

Later into adulthood, I began working as a clinician with adolescent boys in residential treatment. They needed volunteers to run with them in a 5k to raise money for the Special Olympics. I figured, I'm in decent shape. I Zumba. I yoga. I pilates and all that. Why not? So, I trained for it by putting some time in on the treadmill and prancing around my neighborhood. No C25k. No plan. I just trotted around two or three days per week. I told my then co-worker Mallory, "This is cool, but I will never run a half marathon like you."

Four months later, I ran my first half marathon with Mallory: The New Bedford Half. I was giddy. No burning, no red and no vomit. Just pure joy and a medal! I hadn't heard of finisher medals! Just like that, I was completely hooked.

Four years later, I've run 13 5ks, 18 half marathons, and three full marathons. My favorite thing about running is the constant challenge and the endless opportunity to push myself further and sometimes faster. There's always a way to push my limits, explore something new and try the assumed impossible. Mallory and I have been working on running a half marathon in every state (13 down), my distance in training and in racing keeps going up, my speed keeps going up and now my goal is to qualify for the Boston Marathon. For now, that sounds like the biggest achievement in running, but I also know once that's done, there will be something coming up on the horizon that feels even bigger. Some of the challenges we come to as runners are predetermined by others like qualifying or racing a certain distance, but others are self-created like getting more miles in a week than ever before or trying trails and running in new places. In running we're only limited by what we're able to come up with and willing to try.

So, now I'm starting this blog. I'm about 19 weeks out from what I hope will be my qualifying marathon. I've paid for a trainer and personalized training plan. I've signed up for three full marathons this year and accomplished two so far. I've told the people I know about my plan and now I want to make that struggle public. 

I've read a couple of things about blabbing one's goals. One study said it is better not to vocalize your goals, because the more you say it, the more your mind is tricked into feeling satisfied with the outcome as if it has already happened and you lose your drive to actually accomplish it. The other line of thinking says, "sing it sister!" Tell the world and you'll be more driven to get it done and not completely embarrass yourself in front of everyone you told. So here it is: I am going to qualify for Boston. I'm not gonna stop until I do. Bam. It's out there. Now watch me.

Yes, I love running, but let's be real. It's not always easy. Sometimes it is bliss and the runner's high is real. Sometimes I really can't wait to get up and put in the miles, do the speed work, do the hill sprints, do the rolling and the fueling and the extra workouts that will make me stronger, faster and injury-free, but other times it still sucks beyond suck. It's too hot. It hurts. I'm slow. I'm sweaty. I just don't wanna. It is at those times, I need to know I've said it and don't want to make excuses when and if the dream falls through in October. So there, I said it. 

Mallory and Me Post Some Training Run